Giess what guys.... I'm typing this with my eyes closed.
Why, you may ask. Coz in reality my eyes have faced the computer screen for more than 10 hours nowm, and I really feel that they are protesting. But I really really feel like making a post. Therefore, forgive all the typos.

Sorrym but I have really almost forgot that we have this hannel of communication.

Now I'm doing this blindfolded, since I found that I have this tendency of opening my eyes to heck what I've typed. With Josh Groban in the background and me sitting in my best typing position, I think I'm ready to share what I'm thinking....

Lately I have been feeling really restless and empty. Why? I don't know... it's almost as though I don't care anynore... gatherings? Would be good to have but I am reluctant to organize any... something is holding me back. Is it that I have lost some burning passion within? I badly want to feel that I care again... which I do, deep down. But the restlessness... it is like a black hole, pulling everything down... I feel like I want to do something spontaneous, something that is unplanned for, something that is so wild and recl\kless that it will cleanse me of the baggage that I'm holding. What exactlyy I holding again? I have no idea.

Sorr for the rather unorganized string of thoughts,. The best thing about typing blindfolded is that I can't check back at what I've typed... my eyes see nothing but darkness and I can really vlurt out whatever that is in my mind. Probably won't be good to my readers, but bear with me.

Asa your post on that funny dialogue... it really touched a chord in my heart... for an instance, i feel that i am recharged... that i may relive the past, recreate the seemingly unlimited passion and thirst for life, the fire within my heart... I guess I can still hope... I can still work towards having a circle of friends around me again... I can be surrounded by my friends that I care with my whole heart about... instead of seeing them sink into their wordly probvlems, with me myself unable to contribute anything... I just wiwish tha tall of you can live meaningful and happy lives! Now I've probably left a great mess on the keyvboard... a nyway, what I'm tryhing to say is probably, I want to give you all big hugs and O ;pve upi gius bery mucch.

I really miss all yof you. And all the good times that we had in the past. And our innocence and dreams... although the dreams are stil there and probably innocence, although less...

Before you think that June has gone alll nuts and cuckoo, I suppose I'll better change the subjet... firstly update you guys on my coings on now la. I'm cuttently working at MUST, malasian uni of sc and tech. As research asistant. So that during the evenings, I will be able to pursue my mater, master of public policy in UM. The reason I took up this course, is the interest that I hv in higher level conceptual stuff, and also the feeling that I would rellyu like to help people. A policy maker can do much more than a programmer, I'd say. Therefore I'm going to be rather busy in the following 1 1/2 yurs. Hope that my course will have some interesting people those i think i will be stiking out like a sore thumb in term so f race, gender and age! Therefore anticipating many malay uncles that will be my class mates. there will be 12 of us.

Lately taking up chinese chess as well. Playing with kf whenever I can. I'd like to exercise strategic thinking... and to be patient and steady, no matter what. Sometimes I am really too easily influenced by the surroundings.

Just now LL and I discussed traveling... the little spark in my heart also flared a bit. Maybe I really need to unwind and go someplace new.

LL is the one pushing this bbq thing through.. thanks to her help or I wouldn't be able to push anything at my current restless state of mind. This twenty sixth of devember, me and my training buddies are going to hold a post christmas party at Rawang, in one of the orphanages. Maybe that's also one of the resons why I'm feeling rather bugged... since really have to go around to beg people to partivipate.. maybe that's what that is draining my energy? I did do another project, which is donating stationery to 100 kids from varioyus homes. homes as in charity homes. That project, I completed mostly by myuself and my own friends and my own resources... although it is damn worth it when you see the difference that you make, it is also disheartening to push and force things through,,, it is much easier to do things on my own... with my own friend.... instead of trying to collect everyone that i'm not familiar with and trying to get them to help!

I guess, although I'm a strong Taurean, with lots of brute strength and sprint force, sometimes that will go and I need to replenish? WishI was stronger nd won't be troubled by this phase of temporary down though!

OKla... really feeling very tired and worried about what kind of content i'm fitting into this textbox. Maybe I mistyped the whole passage and then I'll just turn off the PC and go to bed... I'm thirsty for a new swig of passion! and life!

Muar hCW QEIRRWN DAMN LOT... JUST GONNA CHECK THRU WONCES, THEN I HV TO GO TO BED LIAO... TIRED... BUT TOMORROW WILLBE A HAPPIER DAY, SINCE PROBABLY THIS OUTBURST IS THERAPEUTIC AND WILL GIVE ME A BETTER DISPOSITION TOMORRO1

tHANKS TOO ALL MYU FRIENDS THAT LOVE ME AND ALL THAT i LOVE. i REALLY WISH ALL OF YOU WILL BE HAPPY.

T.T
....
woei woei, we can take the record to twice in 5 yrs liao
anyway, nice to know u r going back~ always a good thing ma~
u still coming to aus tml? enjoy ur time where ever u r la~~ =)

ll, u r one of the organizers of the party izzit?

yatta~~~

woei woei is coming back home~~~ nice~~
so so, wanna come to a bbq reunion on 24. christmas eve in june's house? or you are going to spend it with family? =) we understand =)

okay , still happy cos woei chyi is coming back, now waiting for asa la.. ahaha hahah ahah
kun sheng leh?

btw. this morning is kinda restless. no patient to scan and reading online (journals) makes me super sleepy =(

ciaoz